Please give me strong shoulders

A lot of things are going on in my life and I need to be really strong to carry on. Today, Ms Postive asked me to go with her to Heidelberg, but I had to work. Some time with Ms Positve would have been just what the doctor ordered, but I just had no time to spare.

Last week, Sunshine and I were invited to his friends's little farm. He was one little terror over there throwing things, being mean to his friend and even her mom, stubbornly refusing to do anything and everything I asked him to do. In sharp contrast, his friend was a sweet little angel, helping her mom to set the table and clean it later and she was extremely understanding towards Sunshine and tried to save his back all the time. I have been completely unable to figure out why Sunshine acts up at times. He can be really good too and can share and play with his friends. The caretakers at his daycare give me the feedback that he is a very well-adjusted kid always taking care of the younger ones and playing nicely with almost every kid. Why does he have to be little devil around me I wonder.

I do enjoy Sunshine's antics but sometimes it gets just too much for me. Especially when he is aggressive towards other kids. I feel so inadequate as a mother when he ignores numerous pleas to be nice. He is barely 3 and he already knows how to have his way when he is in that kind of mood. It usually ends up in us leaving the place and I feel bad for the other kid(s) and also for dragging him away from other kids. He really enjoys the company of other kids and always feels sad when he or they have to leave. I wonder what I can do to teach him to be a little gentler around his friends.

Integration

As an expat living in Germany, I have created my own comfort zone in the last 8 years or so just like most other immigrants do. My social circle comprises mainly of Indians, expats from other countries and a few German friends and many international as well as German colleagues.

An Indian family moved into our building recently and as they are slowly finding their way in the new environment, I was reminded of our initial days here. We had it pretty easy here. We were 'adopted' by a few friends and they helped us in every step till we knew our way around. There was a lovely German family who were our friends before we moved here. They introduced us to ikea and the spoilt Indians (us) learned for the first time how to assemble our own furniture. There was my husband's German teacher who told me about language classes. Once I went to these classes, I started meeting people and making friends and shortly thereafter, I got a job. There was an Indian friend and colleague who drove us around and helped us find places to shop, for entertainment etc. There were many others who helped in different ways, but these three were guardian angels here in Germany.

Our new neighbours seem to be finding it difficult to cope. There are many more Indians in our village now and almost everybody has their own closed social circles. It is very difficult to break into these. The lady and her little son stays at home and unless she finds a daycare for him, she cannot start her language classes or start looking for a job. Language school is a great place to meet people and have someone to share your challenges as you master a new language. She does not have any venue to meet the local people either. It is very easy to slip into despair in such a situation.

Today, we went to a daycare center together to see if she can find a place for her son. She will most probably get one by October. But that is also quite some time away. I hope she will find some other activities for herself and her son until then. He is such a sweet and intelligent little boy and she is also warm and friendly. It will be a shame if they had to just sit at home till the daycare seat is available.