Precious Child

The news of a Georgia toddler who died of extreme heat after being left in the car by his dad is so disturbing. The police apparently found evidence that the dad had searched online for details on infant death by overheating. It looks like the dad actually wanted to kill the child. The mom apparently said that she stands by her husband and trusts him.

Nobody knows what the truth is, but if parents do not want to have their kids anymore, why don't they give them up for adoption? On one side there are devastated parents who lose their children to accidents, diseases and crime and on the other side there are parents who abuse or even murder their children. There are numerous couples who cant have children and wish so earnestly for one. I wish people knew that there is another way.

I cannot fathom how anyone can hurt an innocent child, who loves and trusts the adults in its life, especially when it is your own. I do not have words to describe what I see and feel when I look into Sunshine's eyes. It makes me melt and gives me the kind of happiness that I have never experienced otherwise. Ofcourse bringing up a child is hard work, but just the sight of its innocent eyes is worth it. The hugs, the kisses, the milestones, the drama and the incessant array of cute things that little kids do - they give us a lot more than they get from us.

Nevertheless, it might not be everyone's cup of tea. Some people might have gone ahead and had a kid, thinking it is, or might have had a kid accidentally. Whatever the case, I wish people would just bring their kids to a safe place when they feel that parenting is not for them instead of hurting their kids.

Football Fever

The most popular game in the world is probably at the peak of its popularity at the moment because of the world cup. Every time there is a match involving Germany, plenty of people can be found on the streets and at the public viewing areas wearing German colours and drinking beer.

The world cup makes me nostalgic as I used to watch the world cup matches with my dad when I was a child. He loved to watch sports on TV and since he didn't have sons and nobody else at home was interested, I think he liked the fact that I joined him. He would patiently answer all my questions and would let me stay up late when the tournament was held in a different time zone. Argentina and Italy were my childhood favourite teams and some of my favourite stars were Maradona, Baggio and Batista.

Now, much to DH's consternation, I support the German team. There are ofcourse no superstars or on court dramatics. They are methodical and consistent and are often accused of being boring. We went for an exhibition match before the national team left for Brazil. While the fans were happily cheering their team, there was no euphoria, no fan-girls or anybody trying to get up close to their sporting heroes. I think the celebrity worship culture has not yet caught up here or maybe it is because they play as a team and there is no one superstar in the team. I do not follow german media and that could be the reason why I have this impression. But, I know for sure that if it were a cricket match in India, there would be plenty of fans going wild trying to get as close as possible to their favourite player. Sachin Tendulkar ofcourse has the status of God in India. I didn't feel that any of the German players enjoyed that kind of cult status. Anyway, all of these factors don't really stop me from enjoying the matches. I would love it if Germany or Argentina won the world cup. Go guys!

Lost in Heidelberg

I had to pick up Sunshine from his Kindergarten yesterday as DH was busy at work and had several meetings. Papa and Mummy also joined us and we went to a park so that Sunshine could play for some time before we went home. He was in a nasty mood and started crying for a lolly pop as soon as we reached the park. I had to put in a lot of effort to calm him down somehow. While the drama was going on, a little blond boy approached us and tried to strike a friendship with Sunshine. He told me in halting German that he was from Ukraine. He was looked about 8 years old and usually Sunshine loves the company of older kids. But he was probably tired and did not pay any attention to the boy. So he left is alone.

A little later, when Sunshine and I were sitting on a bench, the little boy came to us and tried to play with Sunshine again. He tried talking to me again although he was finding it difficult. He asked me if I could speak any Russian. Unfortunately, I cannot. He then asked me if I spoke English. I obviously do, but the boy could speak only a few words in English. Nevertheless, we started a conversation in English and German and he told me that his name is Daniel, he is from Ukraine and he lives in Heidelberg with his mom. His dad is apparently still in Ukraine. He has started school in Heidelberg. An elegant and obviously affluent German lady was standing next to us and listening in on our conversation. She also tried asking him some questions, but he seemed to grow a little conscious and wandered away.

Later, I started thinking about Daniel and his circumstances. He must be feeling lonely in a new country where he can speak very little of the local language. He didn't seem to have any friends either.  He must be missing his father. I felt like a total idiot because Papa can talk fluent Russian and I could have asked Daniel to talk to him. I could have got some more details about him and maybe help him find his feet in this new place.

Anyway, it is too late now and all I can do now is pray that Daniel finds some new friends soon and is happy here. I hope I will meet him again some day.

Sisterhood

It is my little sister's birthday today. We had a wonderful childhood together and were really close to each other despite the four year age difference between us. We were each other's conscience keepers and best friends.

Unfortunately, I must admit that as we grew up and got married, we drifted apart atleast a little bit. I don't know everything about her life and I don't share everything about my life with her like we used to. But despite this decreased communication, I still feel a lot for her in my heart and I can sense that she does as well. 

In my list of things that I want to do before I die, I am adding a new item today, on my sister's birthday. I want to renew our friendship. I know we love each other and will be there for each other when the need arises. But I want more than that. I also want to spend time with her and have fun with her. We spend just a few days together every year and even then we are busy with kids and the rest of the family. At the moment, we live in two different continents and it is physically impossible to spend a lot of time together, but I want to atleast connect to her at a deeper level until I can. I know that we have the solid foundation of love and friendship that was laid during our childhood, but I don't want to take our relationship for granted anymore. Here is wishing my dear kid sister a very happy birthday and a life full of happiness, good health and love. I love you dear.

Heavy Heart

A few days back, I was feeling so happy, but at the moment, a general feeling of gloom is surrounding me. I wish I could shake it off and get back to being happy since I am responsible for not just my happiness, but my family's as well. The biggest problem is that I am unable to pinpoint what exactly is causing the gloom.

I have tried different ways to shake off this feeling, but nothing seems to work. I know that Ms Positive's loss is affecting me a lot, but there seems to be something else as well. I dont deal very well with heat and the temperatures are soring here. That makes me physically weaker and makes the whole situation worse.

I need more pranayam and meditation time and I badly need to read an inspiring book. But more than anything else, I guess I need to accept any TLC that comes my way.

Loss

The loss of a dear one is always a devastating experience, but when one knows that the person has lived a long fulfilled life, it does give some degree of comfort. When one loses an unborn child, it leaves one feeling perplexed, clueless and helpless along with the grief that comes with a loss. I think almost all mothers also feel some degree of guilt if they lose an unborn child. I have experienced this loss in my first pregnancy and although it was towards the end of first trimester, it left me completely devastated. It took me a long time to get back to some semblance of normalcy. Even today, after I have had Sunshine, sometimes I wonder what went wrong, what could have been and what could I do differently.

My dear friend, Ms Positive is going through the loss now and for the second time in her young life. She is fluctuating between several emotions, but she is still trying to keep it together and make it as bearable as possible for her and her family. She is taking help and strength from her friends, but at times, she loses trust in herself as this is happening the second time. She is questioning herself and her actions in life and priorities.

Although I know that a strong and positive person like her will eventually come out of this, it saddens me immensely that a good soul like her has to go through this. I guess no one has answers to why bad things happen to good people. At the moment, I am just hoping and praying that she gets the strength to go through her pain and comes out of it without losing her spirit. The only saving grace at the moment is her sweet little child.