Scene 1: We were perhaps overspeeding and got clicked. DH asks me to go over to the parked police car and ask them if we got clicked, how much over the limit we were and how much would the fine be. I walk over to the police car and ask the young cop whether our car was clicked. He asks me the details of the car, fiddles with his laptop or something that looks like it and looks at me helplessly. Then he smiles and tells me that he is not able to check and it is probably to prevent him from deleting a record if a beautiful lady asks him to. He gave me a compliment and played it safe in true German style because he didn't actually refer to me directly. I smile back, thank him, he says sorry he couldn't help and I walk away
Scene 2: My colleagues and I are on our way to lunch. Three young Indian guys are walking ahead of us. Suddenly one of them turns around and looks at me. Then he nudges his friends and declares - "girl behind us!" They are atleast a decade younger to me (boy I am getting old) but that doesn't deter them from making sleazy comments or giving sleazy looks. Now this is an everyday occurrance in India and every girl has faced this atleast once in her life regardless of whether she is plain or gorgeous. My colleagues gives me sympathetic looks and I want to walk up to the idiots and tell them to behave atleast for the sake of their nation's pride. But I just walk ahead pretending that I didn't notice.
Scene 3: I am at an Indian party among a group of married Indian women and one lady is looking particularly resplendent in a sari. Couple of married Indian men walk over and start chatting. One of them remarks that the lady in sari is looking beautiful. She giggles and thanks him. There are atleast a couple of disapproving faces in our group. It is apparent that according to them it is not acceptable to compliment married women on their looks.
I think many Indians are a little off the mark about giving and receiving compliments. While nobody will bat an eyelid if a man appreciated a married woman's cooking or painting or anthing of that sort, any remark about looks carries the risk of being branded immoral. And yet nobody will do anything about the harrassment that Indian girls and women face every day of their lives. I wonder if Indian men and women are encouraged to appreciate beauty in a civilized manner, would it reduce atleast some of the sleaziness in our society.
As for me, I am just an average plain Jane who runs around like a headless chicken in clothes without a personality 360 days of a year. If I put an effort to dress up 5 days in a year, please do tell me I am beautiful and I will not hold your gender against you.
Scene 2: My colleagues and I are on our way to lunch. Three young Indian guys are walking ahead of us. Suddenly one of them turns around and looks at me. Then he nudges his friends and declares - "girl behind us!" They are atleast a decade younger to me (boy I am getting old) but that doesn't deter them from making sleazy comments or giving sleazy looks. Now this is an everyday occurrance in India and every girl has faced this atleast once in her life regardless of whether she is plain or gorgeous. My colleagues gives me sympathetic looks and I want to walk up to the idiots and tell them to behave atleast for the sake of their nation's pride. But I just walk ahead pretending that I didn't notice.
Scene 3: I am at an Indian party among a group of married Indian women and one lady is looking particularly resplendent in a sari. Couple of married Indian men walk over and start chatting. One of them remarks that the lady in sari is looking beautiful. She giggles and thanks him. There are atleast a couple of disapproving faces in our group. It is apparent that according to them it is not acceptable to compliment married women on their looks.
I think many Indians are a little off the mark about giving and receiving compliments. While nobody will bat an eyelid if a man appreciated a married woman's cooking or painting or anthing of that sort, any remark about looks carries the risk of being branded immoral. And yet nobody will do anything about the harrassment that Indian girls and women face every day of their lives. I wonder if Indian men and women are encouraged to appreciate beauty in a civilized manner, would it reduce atleast some of the sleaziness in our society.
As for me, I am just an average plain Jane who runs around like a headless chicken in clothes without a personality 360 days of a year. If I put an effort to dress up 5 days in a year, please do tell me I am beautiful and I will not hold your gender against you.
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