A little pampering

It was not a little pampering, but quite a lot; at least for me. We had our big day over the weekend and it was a landmark one, so we decided to celebrate it a little more than usual. Our initial plans were on a much grander scale, involving family and friends, but we had to forgo those due to logistical problems. So we booked a cosy little luxury wellness hotel in Karlovy Vary, a famous spa destination in Czech Republic.

The hotel, Retro Riverside was small and exclusive and it sat on the bank of a small dam. The building was very old, the lake in front was frozen and it was in a deserted area, which made it look like a castle in a fairytale. The spa area was small, but adequate for the 20 or 25 rooms that they had. There were 5 different types of spa - Finnish sauna and infrared sauna, steam bath, laconium and herbal bath, besides a whirlpool and an indoor swimming pool. We spent 1 hour each in the wellness area on the first and last days and 4-5 hours on the second and third days. It was very relaxing and we mostly had the area to ourselves. The hotel itself was made with love and with attention to the smallest detail. The whole experience was very personal and enjoyable although there was a minor misunderstanding on the last night.

On the last night at the hotel, when we reached our room after spending some time in the city, I found a letter from the hotel manager informing us that the maid had found a pen mark on the carpet and a dirty spot on the wallpaper and that we need to pay 300€ as damages. There was of course a pen mark on the carpet which was left there by little Sunshine while he was exploring his artistic side. But when I checked the wall, I found several little pen or pencil marks which I didn't see before because they were old and faded. So I had a talk with the hotel manager and I must admit I got worked up because I thought the amount was a little too steep for a pen mark on a carpet which was just a normal plain beige one. Also, we had some not so pleasant words about the five star quality. In the end, she apologised and reverted the charges and her eyes teared up before she left the room. This left me feeling guilty as the staff were all very friendly and like I said before we really enjoyed our stay at this hotel.

We thanked the staff and expressed how much fun we had and I hope there was no bad feelings. I would really like to go back if we go to Karlovy Vary again.

Relationships

I recently heard some disturbing news from one of my friends. She is the warmest, friendliest German that I have ever met. She reminds me of a butterfly, always full of energy, talking and smiling. She is a pleasure to be around. Then suddenly, two - three months back, she disappeared. None of her friends saw her any more on the roads, in restaurants or shops and she stopped turning up for our get-togethers. We didn't think much of it because in December many people went away for their vacations or visiting family. When her disappearance continued into January, I was puzzled and I am sure other friends were too, since we started asking each other if anyone has met her. 

One day, I saw her on the road and she smiled and waved and looked her usual cheery self. Since I was in a hurry to catch a train, I didn't stop. That evening, she sent us all a message that she and her husband have separated. She had deliberately avoided all of us as it was the most painful period of her life and she wanted to sort herself out before she met anyone. I was really shocked. I somehow could not picture this happy, cheerful woman, always full of energy, in this predicament. She has told us that she needs some more time and will meet us all in a month or so. Of course nobody asked her how exactly their marriage broke down although I suppose somebody will when they meet her again. Some of the more observant ones in the group seemed to know that something was wrong even before she messaged us.

I feel very sad for my friend and her lovely kids, but I am not very good with words or expressing my support in such crises. I hope the family finds happiness again. In the last couple of years, this is my third friend who is separating. Each of them belonged to a different group of friends and that means different nationalities, social background etc. I don't want to turn cynical about marriages and it is scary to think that not all marriages last a lifetime. 

The Outsiders

I recently read a friend's facebook post about how out of place she felt at a Pilates course that she had just joined. She introduced herself in German (she is American, but speaks fluent German) and tried to be friendly with everyone in the class, but soon after the introductions, all the other participants ignored her and started talking among themselves. She was extremely annoyed and resorted to fiddling with her iPhone to ease her discomfort.

The above scenario is unfortunately all too common in Germany. I admit to gross generalisation, but Germans are definitely not the friendliest or warmest people in the world. My friend is a white American with a German husband and speaks very good German. She even has German roots. Now add brown skin to the mix and the problem will be multiplied ten times. I cannot count the number of times I have been in a new group which consists mostly of Germans and they turn and talk among themselves the moment initial introductions are done. I have experienced this in different companies that I have worked for, any courses that I have done, at my kid's playschool and kindergarten - you name it. I am a person who loves to talk to other people and interact with them. I feel extremely awkward if the people around me ignore me. I have no problems in initiating a conversation and I almost always do, but sometimes it is frustrating here since you don't really get the response that you were hoping for.

Having said that, I have to say that I have a few German friends, many colleagues and acquaintances with whom I am extremely comfortable and can talk for any length of time. With some of them, it took a few months to get to that level and with some a few weeks. Once you manage to reach that comfort level, Germans are like any other people - they come in all shades. But the initial reluctance to open up seems to be very widespread and just about every immigrant faces it at some point or other.

Romance and reality

I am a sucker for romance and despite work, a small child, a busy husband and a household to take care of, I often spend time in my own dreamland. When I just had a baby, I had to give up on reading for sometime. I didn't miss it at that time though, because I was too busy admiring the beautiful thing that I had brought into this world. Now that he is a little older and I have some free time, I have started reading avidly again. Although I read all kinds of books, newspapers, magazines and blogs, I love romance above all.

A book which I read recently and totally loved is Knight in Shining Suit by Jerilee Kaye. I discovered it on Wattpad and was instantly hooked. Many a time, I come across romance novels which can be summed up as the story where a rich and drop dead gorgeous alpha male comes and rescues the poor little helpless heroine and they live happily ever after. There is a rich and gorgeous alpha male in Knight in Shining Suit as well. But he doesn't rescue the poor little heroine. She faces betrayal, humiliation and heartbreak, but draws from her inner strength to overcome it all. She takes matters into her own hands and fights back. She has her family and set of true friends to whom she turns for help when she cannot do it on her own. That is how normal people react, right. Ofcourse there is also magical romance that may or may not exist in real life. Slowly and steadily she learns to trust her Knight and lets him into her heart. She even goes on to rescue him and their love when he is in distress. This book is a bit of reality and a bit of fantasy, but the message I got and loved was that we women ought to be strong and independent and every once in a while we should don the shining armour ourselves and rescue our knights.

Knight in Shining Suit is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Smashwords. 

Gross food

I just read an article about a delicacy from Philippines called balut. It is a fertilised duck egg and when you crack it open, there will be a duck foetus which you then eat. It obviously grosses out many many people. I am a vegetarian at the moment, but I eat eggs. To be honest, I love the taste of fish and I always enjoyed eating chicken. Sometimes I do crave for these things. Maybe that is why I think that it is snobbish to feel superior about what you eat and don't eat.

There is so much prejudice all over the world about the culture, food, habits, celebrations etc of 'other people'. I have been the target of such prejudices because I am an immigrant in the country where I live and belonged to a minority group in the country where I was born. In my childhood, I was oblivious to it because I did not realise that I belong to a minority group. As I grew older, started working, got married, moved another country, I faced it from different sections of people at different times. Although it mostly made me angry at the time that I faced it, later on I realised that it is universal and almost everybody has to face it in one way or the other. Now-a-days, when I hear a prejudiced opinion, it just amuses me; even if it is directed at me.

I hope with all the technology and exposure, we will move forward to a world where people don't judge others based on their race, religion, ethnicity, nationality etc. There is definitely hope for one world where all of us are just human beings.